I am sorry for all of those years that I tried to change you because I didn’t think you were good enough. I am sorry for all of the times I should have tried to help you change because you are good enough. For the years I didn’t nourish you because I thought you weren’t worth being fed, cultivated and cared for, I apologize. For the years that I did not listen to your protests of pain or your signals of distress, I promise to always honor that voice from now until we are done living.
Thank you for sustaining me through all of those years even when I viewed you as some suit I was wearing that I couldn’t find the zipper to. Those moments we felt so far away from each other I couldn’t even recognize the hand in front of me or the legs I walked on.
Thank you for growing and nurturing my children in the best way that you could. You were so much stronger than I thought you would be. Your strength during those times taught me a lot about who I am at my core. I am brave. I am resilient. I can be uncomfortable and still live because I can endure. I am strong. Those lessons you taught me that I am made as a reflection of the image of a Creator, and because of that I lack nothing.
For the times when your softness and warmth settle my children’s hearts, thank you. I love every curve and crook that they nestle into when I’m holding them.
Thanks for showing up now when I want to walk myself to death so that I can process life. Thanks for being patient with me when I think we can go farther than we should. Thanks for keeping me safe when I needed it the most.
I look forward to spending the rest of our life together.
