On an abandoned path, hidden from prying eyes, I walked home from the market alone.. No one is ever on this road, so I walk with my eyes straight ahead rather than fixed to the ground. For a moment, my shoulders relax. For years, what ails me has determined my…
A letter to the recovering people pleasers
To the person who encounters Jesus through relationships and community, Do not be discouraged. There will be seasons that you will confuse the face of Jesus with the face of those that he has created. For a time you will place them on the throne of your heart without even…
I Must Be Missing Something
A poem I comb the lines one thousand times, wondering if I accidentally passed over an apology Like an archaeologist, I brush over the same words again and again Surely the next stroke will uncover a shred of remorse An unexpected discovery waiting under a layer of dirt One thousand…
All of the spaces I feel the most love.
I feel the most loved in rooms that are filled with people who include me in the conversation. I feel the most loved in spaces where the people there give me time and space to make decisions. I feel the most loved when I am given the opportunity to decide. …
The best thing I learned about myself in 2023
“I don’t think they have anyone around them who encourages them. They seem totally isolated, stuck and alone…” is what I spilled to my therapist in the midst of a guilt laden break down. I am well-versed in the language of guilt. It was a dialect taught to me at…
Today, I will be thankful for… Journaling through January
Today I will be thankful for the early morning, even when my eyes struggle to open and my bed begs me to go back to sleep. I have learned in the past that an early morning is proof that you’ve made it to another day. Some seasons, that’s all that…
Love the legacy you leave
Last week my therapist said, “You know Alyssa, your children’s children will be the first generation to really get to experience the benefit of the work that you and your husband are doing to break generational trauma.” Our children will get to see the messy parts of it. They get…
Books I fell in love with in 2023.
Anyone else a total book nerd? I’ve been using literature to escape reality since I could read. Although I do have a little brother, we weren’t raised in the same home so I spent a lot of time reading and writing my own stories to entertain myself. The characters became…
Solstice: A Time for Reflecting
Tonight is the Winter Solstice. This happens every year when the both of Earth’s poles orbit to the furthest points away from the Sun, resulting in the longest night of the year. This night is the peak of the season, preparing nature for the return of the sun as the…
I fell in love…
I fell in love with a town that puts Christmas lights on all the telephone poles. A town that is quiet and doesn’t get in a hurry. A city with fingers that lift from steering wheels and heads that dip slightly as the cars pass. On a street where my…
A letter to my body
I am sorry for all of those years that I tried to change you because I didn’t think you were good enough. I am sorry for all of the times I should have tried to help you change because you are good enough. For the years I didn’t nourish you…